Remember the movie, What a Girl Wants? I don’t think that statement included older women. Older women are usually 50 plus. You know something — I’ve never given much thought to what a woman over 50 wants, until now.
Life Without the Children
Actually, I may have thought a lot about what women over 50 want and it’s just now coming to the forefront of my mind. What we want is not only what we want from men, but from life in general.
It may be hard for a young wife and mother to fathom a life where you can actually make you, your priority. Your husband is very much a part of your life, but it’s different when your kids were your focus. When it’s just the two of you in the house, you can decide what to do that day without giving a second thought to the care of the kids.
When your children are grown and out on their own, you don’t automatically stop being mommy. When my kids were young, whenever I would go out, it was normal to want to get back home to my children as quickly as possible. I felt I needed to get home even though they were doing just fine without me.
It was just my motherly instincts that kept the well being of my children on my mind. I would get the feeling that something was missing or that I needed to get home and cook dinner or something. Eventually, when they were all grown up, I no longer needed to do that, but it took me a while to get use to this new freedom.
Freedom at Home
Now that we have this awesome new freedom, what will we do? There is so much that can be accomplished and we don’t know how much time we have to do it. People in their 50s and 60s are usually still in their working years, and that is okay because great things are still possible.
When you are a couple, you have the house to yourselves and can be as comfortable as you want. When my kids were living at home, I never lounged around the house not fully dressed and neither did my husband. I remember being in a knee length robe when my husband asked me to put on some clothes because the kids were there with their friends.
I ignored him because I was in the family room alone and it was close to bed time. I was just fine, however, after that, I only wore that robe in our bedroom.
Getting back to being comfortable at home, you can wear or not wear what you want! The funny thing about my husband and I, we never changed the habit of being fully dressed around the house. My husband said, being fully dressed at home was instilled in him by his grandfather. Grandfather said to always be dressed just in case someone came by the house and you needed to go….you would already be ready.
I had no response to that. My reason for being fully dressed was no reason, I just did it.
What Women Want From Their Relation
- Good sex. The only reason I mention sex is because that is a high priority for some women. To me, sex was a given
- Listen when in conversation and participate
- Cook together
- Wash dishes together
- Do house work together
- We can do yard work together
- It’s ok to watch TV in separate rooms if something you want to watch is on
- Let’s decide what new furniture to buy together
- Let’s eat out more
- Let’s go to the movies or a show
- Intimacy without sex is okay
- Support me in my endeavors (going back to school, starting a business, self improvement, etc)
- Travel (includes weekend trips)
- There’s more, I just didn’t to make to list too long
If you find yourself single in the second half of life, you have the opportunity and freedom to imagine life and go for it.
What Single Women Want (divorced, widowed, or never married)
- Financial resources to eliminate the need to depend on someone
- Finances in order
- Good Health
- A partner but still have independence
- A home (rent or own, it’s your choice)
- Reliable transportation
- Good friends (at least 2 besties)
- A place of worship lead by a true man of God (I know this is not for everyone)
- Start a business or climb the corporate ladder
- A tastefully decorated home
- Good health
The old TV show the Golden Girls, is a prime example of women 50 plus living the single life with support from each other. Living single with housemates is not a bad idea if you think that would work for you.
A Different Attitude
Granted, not every senior lady is able to grasps this different mindset. A friend of mine declared that she would no longer tolerate the frifulousness that she tolerated before turning 50. Being 50 has done something to my thinking, she also said.
You begin to take your mortality more seriously. We start to think more outside of our selves, meaning we no longer live for ourselves. We have it in us to be a blessing to others.
The thing about mature older women and what we want in life are not always the same. However, we do know what we want and reject what we don’t. Being on the other side of 50 says you are not the same person you were years ago. We’ve grown, experienced the ups and downs, may have been disappointed by husbands, may have experienced being abased and we know abundance.
I could go on and on, but you get me. Whether you’re in your 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond, you are freakin awesome!
Be Blessed Everyone and Be a Blessing